A Not so Merry Christmas
by Kazeebo
Summary: Zim comes face to face, for the first time, with that horrid holiday plant we all know and love... mistletoe!


**Disclaimer: **All around me there are books, and with those there are pillows, a couple pens, pencils, my puppy dog, and a bottle of soda... but no, there is no deed to the amazingness that is Zim... darn.

**Look! -- a note!:** My first story! If you think it's crap, tell me all about it. If you love it I dance a victory dance! If that hint was not subtle enough, then I'll be straight forward: Please Read and Review! Thank you, thank you very much!

Zim was angry, which was normal at this point. Dib had once again thwarted his amazing plans.

"Stupid earth-monkey! He will rue the day he- oh that stupid earth-child." He screamed at a passing cat. The cat stared back nonchalantly and flicked it's tail in his face. Zim growled.

"Oh he will pay." Zim started rubbing his hands together greedily. Suddenly hit with inspiration he rushed home whipping off his wig and contacts after stepping into his home base.

"The dib-thing doesn't know who's he's messing with, I am ZIM!"

Said alien rushed to jump into the elevator-wastebasket and zoomed down into the equipment room. Grabbing some wires, a box, and some other metallic odds and ends. He again stepped into the elevator and wooshed up to a lab. He began to make a 'present' for Dib that he would NEVER forget!

...Two Amazing Hours Later...

Zim smirked, his toil complete, this time, he would get rid of the Dib for good! Laughing maniacally he worked his way back-up to the house level. Feeling his work needed an audience he called for his servant.

"GIR! Gir get out here!"

Gir zipped around a corner and shoved a flower in Zims face. He hummed all happy-like.  
"Lookie lookie! I found it in the grass!" Screeched the robot. Zim grumpily pushed away the flower and stomped it to bits.

"Awwwwwwww, it died," whined Gir.

"Look Gir!" Zim snapped.Gir snapped his head up so fast his antennae smacked him in the middle of the head. He didn't seem to notice. He grinned suddenly seeing the colorful wrapping paper Zim had wrapped Dibs present in.

"Oh! A present, for me!" The robot very suddenly burst into song. "It's just what I always wanted, oh goodness, oh my! It's just what I always want- AH!"

Zim swatted him away as he had somehow ended up sitting on Zims head rocking back and forth singing his off-key song.

"Stop it Gir!" Zim snapped again. "It's not for you, it's for Dib."

"Awww!" Said Gir. "I'm gonna be the flower girl!" Shouted Gir. He then proceeded to throw the ripped and shredded flower pieces all around Zims head while humming the wedding march.

"Gir! Quit that! Look at it first."

Gir stopped prancing about and rapped on the boxes top. A clinking metal sound was to be heard. Suddenly curious Gir sniffed it, licked it, and ran circles around it. When none of that worked, he decided to try opening it. Zim snickered behind him. Gir propped the top open and peeked inside. And electrified net burst out pinning Gir to the floor and sparking against his metallic structure.

"Ah! It BURNS!" Shouted the robot joyously, giggling as his dysfunctional circuits were fried. Zim outright laughed as he pulled the net off of Gir and pushed it back into it's box.

"He's gonna LOVE IT!" Shouted Gir again. Again he began to prance around Zim happily.

"Oh yes, he'll _love_ it alright." Zim said. He again flew into a bout of diabolical laughter. "Ha ha, Ah yes. Well, I'm off, Gir let NO ONE enter while I'm gone!"

Slamming the door behind himself he darted joyfully in the general direction of the Dibs house. One angry dog, a puddle, and two bushes later he had arrived. Trying to hold in evil laughter and failing miserably he poked the doorbell.  
A young angry-looking, mauve haired girl opened the door.

"What do you want?" She asked.

"I am looking for Dib, I have a present for him!" Zim said trying his absolute hardest to look cheerful. The child glared at him for several awkward seconds before calling her brother. Zim stepped forward to hand over a box when a ray of red & green light suddenly enveloped him and the girl. The child looked up and groaned. Zim looked up as well. All that was there were some leaves with white berries connected to them. He then tried to walk out of the light but was stopped by some unforeseen force. And this is when Dib entered.

"Oh no!" He shouted. Gaz was trapped in their fathers modified mistletoe, with ZIM of all people... er well, of all aliens anyway. It held it's victims in a festive forcefeild and only opens once the occupants kiss.

"Don't do it Gaz! I'll do get D- oh wait he's at work well I- no wait um just don't do it!" He shouted. Zim was confuzzled. It was just a plant, with a forcefeild around it no doubt, but still just an earth-plant, right?!?

Zim demanded the girl tell him what was happening and she did, a malevolent snarl on her face the whole time. Zim threw a horrified glance her way and then began running around screaming bashing into the forcefeild walls.

Gaz was beginning to grow agitated. Well, more agitated than usual anyway. Between her brothers screams and Zims crazy circle running, she felt as if she'd explode. So, on the brink of insanity she grabbed the green-skinned boy and kissed him.

Zim suddenly found himself transported to a glorious land of dancing smeets and singing junk food and pure pinkness. And just as suddenly he found himself transported to a world of pain and hurt. The girl had punched him squarely in the jaw. And as Dib practically had a seizure over the alien defilement of his little sister. Gaz walked unmoved back into the house. The _present_ lay forgotten and Zim marched home very, very, very, very, very, very, very confused.

_**Fin**_


End file.
